How many quarters does it take to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?

How many?

None, it only takes Tolkiens

Why did the Boy Scout put a flashlight in his backpack?

Why?

He wanted to lighten his load.

How do you hire a teddy bear?

How?

Put it on stilts!

What did the stop sign say to the yield sign?

I don’t know.

I don’t know either.  They were speaking in sign language.

In front of a service station:

“Come In!  Let us Shock, Tire, Break, and exhaust you!”