An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun
in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.
He says to the waiter:

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“Want coffee.”

The waiter says, “Sure, Chief. Coming right up.”

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp,
turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun,
causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere
and then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling
another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to
the waiter

“Want coffee.”

The waiter says “Whoa, Tonto!
We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?”

The Indian smiles and proudly says ..

“Training for position in United States Congress:
Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull,
leave mess for others to clean up,
disappear for rest of day.

When a new store selling wild bird seed opened, a long established competitor hung out a big poster that read: “I’ve been doing business in this spot for over 50 years.”

The owner of the new store then posted his own sign: “Established a week ago - no old seed”

Did you hear about the robbery at the police station?

Thieves stole all the toilets. The police have nothing to go on.

While my brother in law, Dave Meeting, was in the Army, he had a desk job and his own office.  At coffee breaks, he listened to the officers complain about how they couldn’t get their work done with all the interruptions.  Once he got promoted, he knew what they were talking about.  That’s when they changed the nameplate on his door- to Corporal Meeting, from Private Meeting.

The local fire department got a call that a flock of geese were stuck in a frozen lake. So a rescue team crawled out onto the ice, pushing a boar and ice-breaking tools. They got within three yards- and the flock flew off. The men were left staring at open water.

“So how’d it go?” someone back at the station asked.

“Wild goose chase” was the reply.